My notes from: 10 Steps to having amazing one on ones with your team (ebook from getlightouse)

  1. Set the right schedule - once a week ideally, never more than 1 month without meeting

  2. Set expectations

  3. Create a shared agenda, and let the employee set the agenda

  4. Get beyond the status update

  5. Get the fundamentals right
    a. One hour meetings
    b. Don’t cancel, reschedule instead
    c. Have the meeting in private

  6. Give feedback
    a. Be specific
    b. Majority of millennials want feedback at least every month
    c. Give regular praise

  7. Talk about the employee’s growth and development
    a. Make sure they understand that their career success matters to you
    b. Use the reciprocity principle to help them share their career goals.
    c. Be willing to be patient if there isn’t enough trust for them to share goals yet
    d. Work on helping them see and make incremental progress towards those goals

  8. Take notes
    a. you’ll need to be able to look back and see what someone said at a later time
    b. One of the most important steps to building trust is to do what you say you are going to do. This act of following up and keeping promises is essential.
    c. Take notes together using a shared document
    d. Use active listening skills to repeat back what you believe you hear

    1. Active listening hierarchy: Repeating => Paraphrasing => Reflecting.
    2. All active listening methods start with Perceiving, Paying Attention, and Remembering. Paraphrasing and Reflecting involve Thinking and Reasoning as additional steps before paraphrasing or reflecting what you heard from the person you are listening to.
  9. Send a follow up
    a. End one-on-ones on a high note.
    b. Set actionable next steps.
    c. Make it clear that you are working together to find solutions.
    d. Put follow ups in writing. You can do this within a Google Doc and assign tasks

    1. There should be assignments for both the manager and the employee that come out of a one-on-one
    2. Make sure you follow up on your assignments, hold yourself accountable.
    3. Make sure you hold the employee accountable for following up on their assignments - send reminders and check-in to show that you remember what you’ve discussed during the one-on-one
  10. Keep your promises
    a. Be prepared - review notes from the previous one-on-one before the meeting starts and bring questions to talk about with the team member.
    b. Be ready to pick up where you left off.
    c. Complete your action items.

    1. Keep your commitments and they will be more likely to keep theirs. Lead by example in this way.
    2. Doing what you said you would do builds trust.

    d. Build strong habits and routines

    1. Make your one-on-ones recurring events so they don’t get bumped accidentally
    2. Send a follow up so expectations are clear and feel heard